Trying to find a negative review of the seventh instalment of the Star Wars franchise has proven difficult as praise abounds from every corner of the internet.
But there are a few highly cynical grinches out there who are attempting to tear down what is set to be one of the most successful films in history.
Forbes Critic Scott Mendelson said Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan‘s screenplay felt like a greatest hits reel of the first three movies, with the thinnest of possible stories on which to hang chases and escapes along with nostalgic callbacks.
"This is a film terrified of offending the fans who still claim that George Lucas‘s last three films 'violated' their childhood," he said.
"The picture feels so afraid of repeating the ‘trade routes and midi chlorins’ shtick of the prequels that it ignores some important narrative questions about the new status quo and avoids being about anything beyond its existence as a new ‘Star Wars’ film.
"We instead get teases of fascinating relationships and seemingly important plot points that take place off screen, in blink-and-you-miss-it flashbacks, or expositional monologue before moving on to the next chase/escape set piece (there are four action scenes in the first act alone).
"The adherence to the narrative structure of the first film quickly establishes that the only narrative mystery is whether Abrams and company will pivot to the left or continue down the path most traveled at any given juncture.”
Another controversial but comical critique came from Rubin Safaya of Cinmealogue.
“The Force Awakens is passably entertaining for the two hours and fifteen minutes of its running time," he said.
"Abrams still a slave to his marketing-friendly-but-intellectually-bankrupt Mystery Box, one can’t help but feel it’s all Snoke(SIC) and mirrors… Perhaps another director will pick up the elements that Abrams left scattered about, imbue them with some…any kind of subtext, to give us some real poetry.”
Movie Nation's Roger Moore said the earliest reviews had all been glowing, "as indeed they were for this past summer’s Jurassic Park clone — Jurassic World. This will certainly make billions.
"Brand above all, right? But The Force Awakens boils down to a couple of genuine lump-in-the-throat moments, and those are due to nostalgia. The rest? Seen it, done it, been there, and remember it — even though it was ‘a long time ago.'”
I'm guessing he probably didn't buy the t-shirt.
Andrew O’Hehir of Salon was unhappy with the blockbuster's originality.
“Yes, in technical terms Abrams and co-writers Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt are picking up the narrative some 30 years after the destruction of the Galactic Empire at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi,’" he said.
"But they barely even pretend to advance the story of the initial trilogy; they rewind it and repeat it, with new characters substituting for old ones but many of the same action set-pieces, narrative dilemmas and hidden connections.”
Despite few dissenting reviews out of thousands, the film has received near universal approval against the backdrop of enormous expectation.
The Daily Telegraph's Robbie Collin gave the film five stars described as the "sequel of your dreams".
"It’s storytelling like this – addictively bold and wildly exciting – that sends The Force Awakens surging through your capillaries and straight to your heart, even more so than the beautifully styled planets (I loved the moss-draped, sylvan idyll of Takodana), the rubbery monsters, the measured pacing (characters actually talk to each other!), and the heavy dusting of nostalgia," he said.
New York Times reviewer Manohla Dargis describes JJ Abrams as a love child of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.
"Born to the blockbuster world they helped make," she said.
"At its best, that world taps into the wonder that can come with new visions and realms, sending you into raptures with earthly delights or those in galaxies far away."
Despite giving the film only three stars AP’s Lindsey Bahr describes it as fun and clearly made by someone who “loves Star Wars deeply”.
“These movies make us lose ourselves in the spectacle," she said.
"They make us forget our best instincts. They make us love the advertising as much as the art.
"They make us kids again. In this way, The Force Awakens, the seventh movie in this improbable yet inevitable series, delivers."