By Andrew McMurtry
Making a film about depression was an “intensely personal” project for director Julian Shaw.
Through his youth, Shaw was a sufferer of depression but says talking about it and getting it out in the open is the key.
“My parents broke up when I was a teenager; [I] definitely went [through depression] and it was extremely frightening and I didn't actually know if I'd get through it – I can honestly say that,” Sydney-based Shaw told INSIDEFILM.
“And what's scary about that is that I really am, for the most part, a really happy person and a very driven person and really love what I do and really love my life.
“The minute I said 'I might be depressed' that was when it started to end.
"…It just really shows that it can happen to anyone.”
The online film All Blacks Don’t Cry, about the dramatic story of All Black rugby legend John Kirwan and his battle with depression, has now reached almost 30,000 hits.
Initially released in October – Anxiety and Depression Awareness Month – for a one month period, the film has resonated with audiences and has encouraged Shaw to keep it online and available for free.
“Even more important than the substantial views it has received, All Blacks Don’t Cry has created a powerful online dialogue, with men in particular opening up and sharing in a way I haven’t really seen before,” Shaw said.
“Viewers have clearly been empowered and inspired by the message of hope in the film.
“If the goal of this project was to engender discussion, then it is already a bigger success than I had hoped.”
Not only was he director, Shaw also played Kirwan himself and has received great feedback and encouragement about his performance.
“They are talking about my portrayal of John Kirwan like it's the real guy and that's the most pleasing thing from my perspective,” Shaw said.
“The fact it is quite seamless is obviously flattering as well because I guess people know me more as a writer and director but acting is another thing I've had a big passion for.”
Shaw had always wanted to do a film about Kirwan – who holds the overall try-scoring record for the All Blacks – and got his chance after seeing him at an All Blacks training session while shooting his film Cup of Dreams.
“I got a contact for him through a rugby journalist who's a mate of mine and just wrote him and pitched the idea,” Shaw explained.
“John Kirwan wrote right back and had had a look at my website and my other work and he said 'that sounds really exciting and give me a call' so I gave him a call over in Japan and we ended up talking for ages and ages.
“He just said, 'put a script together, send it to me and I'll tell you what I think'.
“I went away after interviewing him and he had a look and said, 'just go for it' and that was all I needed.”
After spending his early life in New Zealand, the power and draw of his birth nation’s national sport has left a lasting impression on the 24-year-old filmmaker.
However, despite his love for the sport, his aim has always been to make something for everyone to enjoy and is leading him to his next challenge in the film business.
“You've got to make films about things that you know and obviously that world of New Zealand rugby is something very close to my heart, something I really enjoy and am passionate about,” Shaw said.
“But you've got to approach it in a way where you are opening it up so really anyone in the world can watch it and that's really what I've been doing with my projects.
“These have been a couple of very intensely personal projects that I've done which has been the nature of them and that is right and proper, they need to be realised.
“I honestly have a sense of bigger things coming on and collaborating on a bigger scale which is really exciting for me and could be the next step for me as a storyteller.”
Depression is a serious mental disorder affecting 4 per cent of Australians and more than 121 million people worldwide, according to the World Health Organisation. It can also lead to more serious problems, including substance abuse.
If you’re suffering from depression or want to learn more, visit beyondblue.
Check out www.julianshaw.com for more details on release dates and other projects Shaw is working on.
To watch the film, visit www.allblacksdontcry.com.
Julian Shaw and John Kirwan
On the set of All Blacks Don't Cry
Julian Shaw as John Kirwan
A scene from All Blacks Don't Cry